I’m back…sort of. I had a tough time for a while, but I’m slowly coming back. Wow, it’s been over a year. Sorry about that, life just gets away from me sometimes.
I went through a really bad depression, and for months I couldn’t focus on anything. I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 10 years old, hospitalized for it when I was 20. I didn’t take anything for it until 2021 when I just couldn’t focus on anything and it really started to affect my quality of life. I tried Prozac, and it worked. I just couldn’t see being on it, or anything, for the rest of my life. I switched over to Wellbutrin because some of the benefits were more important than the ones from Prozac. I stopped that one in the fall of 2022, I wanted to be without medication. I usually manage my depression quite well, but it got away from me again earlier this year. I took some time to just figure out what makes me happy. I still don’t quite know, but I did find out some things that I was doing that did NOT make me happy. I found ways to avoid those things. I am trying new things, and retrying old things.
I lost a friend around Christmas. Atom was a wonderful man, always so full of life. He made everyone around him feel better, just by being in the same room. When posting remembrances, someone said that one night they were at open mike night, and Atom came in late. He overheard someone say “here is the sparkle” That describes him perfectly. I miss him very much, and I regret all the things we planned to do together, but never actually did 🙁
I like to walk. I’ve gotten out of the habit of long walks, partly because it gets overwhelmingly hot here. I wasn’t spending as much time outside as I used to, so I started trying to get some sun. I’m still not getting as much sun as I feel that I need, but South Florida in the summer sucks!!! I’m walking every Saturday morning with my new friend,Ann-Rhea. Well, most Saturdays. We’ve skipped a couple for rain, and tiredness plays a part. We walk at 6:30am just to avoid the heat, and we don’t always succeed in avoiding it.
Last weekend, we went to a local craft fair, she brought a new friend, Melissa, and we made an afternoon of it. It was interesting. I may try to get a table for my crafts. Strangely enough, there weren’t a lot of handmade crafts at the craft fair. I saw a lot of things that can be ordered in bulk from other countries where prices are much lower. There were 2 crochet tables, both sold amigurumi. One table was selling trademarked “mascots” including Pikachu and Grogu. She was not a very good salesperson, either. I asked about prices because she had big (1 foot tall) and small (4 inches tall), but no prices anywhere. She said that everything was a different price. I said that I realized that, but could she give me a range. How much for the big ones, and how much for the small? She gave me a face, and started pointing at different ones and telling me each price. I said thank you and left. If you are trying to sell your product and you aren’t going to put out prices, you should be nice when someone asks. Yes, I was asking for ideas for pricing my goods, but she didn’t know that. I could have been Christmas shopping. My friends were. The other table was much nicer in all ways. The sellers were nice, the products had prices and were cute amigurumi animals. There were also a few tables that had some crocheted tops as well as their primary product. I may try to put some of my stuff out there. Ann-Rhea and Melissa are both entrepreneurs, and were making plans for my new craft business. They were 3 years in the future, and I am trying to finish the first step by the end of the year. They were a little scary.
On the exercise front, when I do manage to get myself moving, I have been doing 21 Day Fix Real Time. I really enjoy it. Recently I started a different one. I signed up for the Muddy Dash in October, so I am doing one that has more variety of strength and cardio. P90X is a hardcore workout, but still has a variety of workouts so I don’t get too bored. It is hard, but my shoulder seems to be stronger although it is still somewhat frozen, but it doesn’t always hurt when I do things with it. We have a new scale that connects to the phone and does a body scan. It tells you all kinds of stuff about muscle mass, BMI, skeletal weight, etc. It tells me that I am gaining muscle tone, not losing much weight 🙁
I’ve written this over a few days, and lost my train of thought. So, see ya soon 🙂